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When we think of the word “bully”, we may picture a scowling kid on a playground who physically threatens his or her classmates.

However, bullying can be so much more than that, and in this blog I’m going to focus on bullying in the workplace. From threats and verbal abuse to humiliating someone in a meeting, there are so many ways that women in leadership can be affected.

Here’s how Statistics Canada defines bullying in the workplace:

Workplace harassment refers to objectionable or unwelcome conduct, comments, or actions by an individual, at any event or location related to work, which can reasonably be expected to offend, intimidate, humiliate or degrade. 

Harassment in the workplace comes in a variety of forms, as it can range from interpersonal mistreatment, such as disrespect, condescension and degradation (often referred to as workplace incivility Note), to more physical forms of harassment such as physical assault (which may also be referred to as workplace violence), sexual assault, bullying or the threat of harm.

According to that same report, 3 in 10 Canadians say their workplaces are not psychologically safe and healthy, and nearly half report having experienced one or more acts of workplace harassment at least once a week for the last six months.

Have you?

Types of Workplace Bullying

It can be hard to understand exactly what bullying is and isn’t.

For example, reprimanding an employee in a professional way because they are frequently late and missing deadlines is NOT bullying. But making derogatory comments about how that employee must be stupid because they can’t seem to read a clock is!

So here’s what workplace bullying behaviours might look like:

• Verbal. From threats, mockery, gossip and social exclusion, words can hurt.
• Retaliatory. Maybe someone challenges the bully, or complains to a superior. As a result, the workplace bully begins targeting the person even more.
• Institutional. This happens when a workplace accepts and allows bullying. This could include ignoring complaints about an abusive manager or mocking employees who are having difficulties with a particular area of their job.
• Physical. This doesn’t necessarily mean assaulting someone else. Bullies like to make themselves look big; perhaps your bully smacks the table when angry, or gets into your personal space to try and assert dominance.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullying

First off, I’d like to let you know that if you are dealing with anger, harassment, bullying, or aggression, you need to remove yourself from this threatening position. If it’s taking place at work, contact your human resources representative.

If it is happening in your personal life, reach out to someone for help. If you are in physical harm, contact the police immediately.

Now that I’ve shared that, I’m going to give you some tips on stopping workplace bullies in their tracks:

1. Document all behaviour.

   By keeping notes on dates, times and conversations, you’re creating a trail of evidence that will prevent a “he said, she said” situation down the road.

   Also, this can illustrate the extent of a bully’s bad behaviour (she angrily confronted you in front of the washroom seven times in two weeks?!) and help you make a strong case without saying a word.

2. Stay calm, cool and collected.

   I know this may sound easier said than done, but it’s really the most effective way to deal with workplace bullies. If you become angry and emotional, they win, and you look like a hothead.

   Also, confronting the bully with anger may give them ammunition when you complain. This makes it sound like it was an argument, not a bullying situation. By maintaining your professionalism and remaining calm, you show the person that you’re not buying into their behaviour.

   My free webinar can help you stop bullies in their tracks. Sign up now and regain your confidence plus the peaceful workplace you deserve!

3. Limit your interactions with the bully.

   This may sound like a given, but by shutting down the bully before they get started, you’re removing yourself from an emotionally charged situation.

   This doesn’t mean hiding from the bully. A simple “That’s not an acceptable way to speak to me” or even walking away in silence should be enough to shut down your bully (at least for the short-term).

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As a woman in leadership, you’ve probably dealt with your share of toxic people, including workplace bullies. This can be a part of life when you’re working with all sorts of personalities in high-pressure situations.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way! I can help you transform into a confident, courageous leader with one-on-one or group coaching. Why not start with a complimentary 30-minute call to see how we can work together?