How To Cope With Stress

I don’t think there’s one person in today’s world who isn’t dealing with stress to some degree. Stress is certainly part of the human experience. And given the last few years we’ve been experiencing, you’re not alone if you’re feeling more stressed out than normal.

If you are feeling stressed out, first, please don’t beat yourself up about it. Sometimes circumstances are beyond your control. Our negative emotions are telling us important information that we can use to become more self aware. Stress can be a natural reaction to hard circumstances, and feeling guilty about feeling stress just makes things worse.

But too much stress can wreak havoc on all aspects of your life, so it’s important to learn how to keep it under control — especially if you are dealing with a lot of stress at work (my speciality!).

So let’s explore stress, and how we can learn to live with it, especially in the workplace.

Please note: If you find this article helpful, I bet you’ll really enjoy my best-selling book about communication. Get it here: REFRAME: How To Change Your Conversations To Resolve Those Messy Conflicts.

Living With Stress

We all deal with stress from time to time, especially at work.

First of all, we need to recognize the significance and seriousness of stress. In fact,the World Health Organization classifies it as the “health epidemic of the 21st century.”

Because stress can create a disturbance in our mental and physical well-being, it can impact our ability to communicate effectively, too.

We all know life can be complicated, and it can be stressful—even during the best of times!

For example, workplace situations can certainly cause stress. Getting negative feedback, having unrealistic expectations, making assumptions, and lacking priorities or goals can all be stressful. And then there is the dreaded “bad boss” who can make our work life genuinely miserable!

Notice that for some of these stressors, you have little or no control – all you can do is control your response. And for others, like making assumptions that make you more stressed, you have total control. How many of your own stressors do you have control over?

Unfortunately, some negativity is just a part of life. At some point, if we’re lucky to live long enough, we will all experience one or more of the following major life stressors:

Major Life Events and Stressors:

Death of a partner, child, or loved one
Marriage/divorce
Birth of a child/grandchild
Loss of a job/new job
Health problems
Abuse
Financial problems
Legal problems
Retirement
Natural disasters

Becoming Aware of Stress

Some of us are so used to experiencing stress, it becomes “normal” for us. But we need to be aware of how stress impacts us in our body by paying attention to the emotional signs of stress.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the phrase, “you’ve got to name it to tame it.” This is one of the main principles of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and it basically means you have to be aware of what you’re feeling and experiencing to be able to move past it.

That’s why it’s important that you become aware of the following emotional cues — they’re signs that you need to step back and pay attention to your needs.

Signs of Emotional Stress

Becoming overly emotional or aggressive
Feeling overwhelmed or immense pressure
Experiencing frustration over little things
Loss of interest in personal appearance or previously enjoyed activities
Poor concentration or focus
Irrational mood swings (feeling up and then down)
Feeling anxious
Inability to make decisions
Experiencing sadness, guilt, or fatigue
Loss of confidence in personal ability to do the work
Low self-esteem or lack of confidence

Stress takes over our thought processes, making it difficult for us to show up at work and in life as our “best selves.”

Try to become more aware of your stressors, and tune in when you’re feeling stressed – what is your body telling you? What can you do to nourish yourself?

Now consider what happens in your body when you are stressed.

How Our Body Responds To Stress:

Dilation of pupils
Sweating
Rapid breathing
Increase in heart rate
Muscle tension
Increased adrenaline flow
Release of glucose into the blood
Decrease in gut activity
Decrease in salivation

If you are experiencing any of the above-listed signs or symptoms, please speak to a healthcare professional, as holding on to stress in your body can be very unhealthy for you. Long-term stress can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and erratic behaviour.

And can you imagine trying to have effective communication at work while experiencing any of these signs or symptoms of stress? What if you need to have a difficult conversation? Do you think your ability to deal with conflict effectively will be compromised?

If you answered yes, then you get it!

Now let’s look at what you can actually do to mitigate all this stress.

Mitigating Stress

Researchers have found that being around negative people is bad for your health — so this is no laughing matter!

In fact, a UCLA study of 122 healthy adults found that those with “negative social experiences had higher levels of pro-inflammatory proteins, which could lead to depression, hypertension, atherosclerosis, coronary heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.”

Having long anger episodes can increase our blood pressure, bring on stress and anxiety, trigger headaches, and cause poor circulation. It can also weaken our immune system, which puts us at risk for serious illnesses such as depression, stroke, and heart attack.

Moreover, according to cardiologist and author Dr. Cynthia Thaik, “Research also shows even one five-minute episode of anger is so stressful it can impair your immune system for more than six hours. All of these health issues can lead to more serious problems such as heart attacks and stroke. Anger and hatred can be directed at yourself or at other people, but either way you lose when you allow these negative foods for the soul to take over.

With this in mind, it’s essential to evaluate your relationships. Are they serving you well? Or are they dragging you down?

Changing Your Response To Stress

Your brain is a powerful thing. Something you perceive as a threat will activate your stress response, whether the threat is actually real or not.

That’s why, if you experienced trauma as a child and your response was to hide in the corner, as an adult, your body will respond similarly whenever your brain perceives a threat, real or not.

Your stress response helps you to jump out of the way of a moving car or run out of a burning home. But when your stress response happens chronically over time, it can wreak havoc on your body’s systems. And anything you think of that scares you can be perceived as a threat by your mind.

Our inner conflicts and anxieties especially wreak havoc on our brains and, more specifically, the amygdala. The amygdala, located at the front of the brain, detects fear. It then releases adrenaline and cortisol throughout the body, preparing us for “fight, flight, or freeze” you’re probably familiar with.

When we’re stressed out, our brain’s prefrontal cortex is essentially hijacked. It shuts down the neural pathway, causing our nervous system to kick in, provoking our old protective mechanism to take over. When this happens, it makes rational decision-making impossible.

You read that right: when we’re too stressed, it’s impossible to think rationally.

So that’s the reality of stress … now what can we do about it???

If we know our brains and bodies respond to conflict using a conditioned response, the key to gaining control of our lives is to be mindful and present. Start to become aware of your thoughts. When you’re feeling stressed, try to reframe your inner dialogue to something more helpful. And practice self-care and self-compassion as much as humanly possible.

Dealing With Workplace Stress

Of course, my speciality is helping small business owners and their teams move past stress and conflict, through mediation, conflict resolution, and HR consulting. Helping people create more harmonious work environments is my passion.

And I’ve helped hundreds of people effectively deal with workplace stress — so I know it can be done!

Can you find a few minutes in your day to kick back and relax a bit?

If you are experiencing stress in the workplace, take a few minutes to relax. You can try deep breathing, rolling your shoulders, and doing some light stretches. You could also try a brief meditation at your desk or escape to a quiet place for five to ten minutes.

Another option to explore is addressing the root cause of your stress by speaking with your manager, counsellor or coach. Perhaps you need support or clarification on a project. Perhaps you need help dealing with a workplace bully.

You can control the flow of work by chunking out your schedule and using time management techniques. Plus, eliminating or reducing distractions is also helpful.

Finally, look at your work-life balance. If you work overtime a lot, stop it! Don’t forget to have laughter and joy in your life. Connect with friends, listen to music, dance, and have fun.

The following resources may also help you deal with your problems at work head on, to help you eliminate any stressors you can:

I hope that going forward, you’ll start to become more aware of how stress can significantly impact your body and mind.

If you’d like more help dealing with stress at work, either individually or for your team, please reach out. I’d love to set up a free discovery call to see how we can help you say good-bye to unnecessary stress and conflict.

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